This morning I had much to do before going to the gym to go through my weights program. This appointment has been on mind all week as I’m not happy with what my trainer had proposed. He had seen the look on my face and told me that because it’s been so long since I was last at a gym, it was advised that I begin easily and carefully. I couldn’t argue with that, but I have a different view of easy and carefully.

It’s true, I haven’t been to a gym in a long time. Consider what I have done, though. I managed a rural property for 9 yrs and that takes physical strength. My trainer knows this, but does he understand it?

I’ve been trying to convince myself to give his suggestions a go, knowing I can always book in for another assessment any time I choose.

This morning I had to prepare my organic beef bone broth, portion it to freeze, and I was speaking to OS about allowing me to do this in record time so I could relax with a cup of coffee before heading off. I checked the time and I was doing surprisingly well. Kept working, checked the time again and noted that I was doing really well. Kept working, decided that prior to washing up I’d get my coffee brewing so it would be ready when I was done. I began grinding the coffee beans, flicked my eyes at the clock, wow, what had I been worried about?! and that’s when I did a double take.

The clock hadn’t moved since I first looked at it! Power failure.

We did have high winds this morning and I did have a vague recollection of hearing sirens, or was that yesterday?? Coffee was on hold, finished up the broth and then began to stress. No computer. No cook top (it’s not gas). Definitely no coffee. Oh dear.. no opening the garage door! I was home alone and didn’t know where the key was to open the garage manually. At what point do I call to cancel my appointment?

I rang with half an hour to spare, explained the situation and it was no drama, appointment rescheduled. I did some mental work, and then some more, but was rather surprised at my agitated response to no electricity.

Shortly later Dad arrived home, unaware of the power outage. I went down to greet him and let him know why he couldn’t open the garage. He’d have blamed it on the remote control. Well, the first thing out of his mouth was “no coffee?!”. Yep, like father like daughter. He surprised me when he revealed he had a camper stove and asked if I knew how to use it. Oh did I know?! YES! So we went to pull it out, it was still brand new. I took it upstairs and began unwrapping it and guess what?

Yes, the power came on.

And what I’d decided while pacing back and forth not knowing what to do without power, was that I’m going to speak up for my Self.

I had looked at the clock 3 times before realising it hadn’t moved. Clearly I hadn’t wanted to see the correct time. I knew it was because I didn’t want to go to that appointment.

Do you Self sabotage? If so, what methods do you use?

Are you aware of why you Self sabotage?

What do you do when the power is out?

How do you feel when the internet isn’t working?

Do you speak up for yourself?

Have you ever allowed someone to think they know you better than you know your Self?

 

 

 

 

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